It is a powerful force that, all of these Octobers later, can still bury me in leaves of depression so thick it takes weeks to find my way out.
It is beautiful that this month of October, 2016, so far, has been kind to my head — the leaves gentle, graceful, and allowing the view of the clear blue sky.
It is precious that today I read for the first time that October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. This declaration was made on October 15, 1988, seven years to the day after my due date. The exact month and year that hell visited my head for the first time, only to continue on through every October.
Except not this year. Not as of October 18th, 2016.
It is a stunning show of grace that I now know that, should depression still visit this month or any month again, I can do it. I can look it in the face, embrace it, and love it, be it. No more resistance to the wisdom of the body. This woman-animal is willing to trust life, and to allow her native voice to speak its truth. Bring it on. Or don't bring it on. I am fine, either way.
