Sacred Money, Part III

I wanted to have relationship with the people to whom I gave the money  It's so easy to send a check to a cause.  We do that often.  But this money needed to be given in a different way.

And...

The Wild Animal Sanctuary kept sending out notices that they had done three big rescues in a short amount of time, and that had drained their funds. They were asking for money, and I couldn't resist, because I love the

 Lions 

Tigers

and 

                       

    Bears!

I have visited the Wild Animal Sanctuary a few times.  The animals there are spiritual food for me and for all people who spend time with them, so I sent a small portion of the Sacred Money to help with the work of this special place.  

A few days later, I visited Amy.  When I walked in the door of her house, I noticed the Wild Animal Sanctuary newsletter on her table.  (Yes!)  As we talked, I gave her three options regarding the stories of the Sacred Money:

1)  I could tell her nothing about what I did with it.
2)  I could give her generic information about what I did with it
3)  I could tell her where every dollar went.

I ended up telling Amy that I had given some of the money to the Wild Animal Sanctuary.  The hug I received was as big as a happy bear belly. 

Here is a story about the arrival of some bears who were rescued and brought to TWAS:

These bears had been living their lives in deep concrete pits in a tourist trap in the U.S. state of Georgia.  When the bank started foreclosure on the business, the Wild Animal Sanctuary was able to rescue eighteen bears and bring them to their new home.

The bears were transported for twenty-two hours before being moved, each in his or her own cage, out onto the acreage of the Wild Animal Sanctuary.  There, they were kept in their cages for awhile so that they could adjust to the sights, sounds, and smells of their new location.  And then, one by one they were released.

As I read of the bears' release out into new-found freedom, I wept.  Don't we all know somewhere in our cells the feeling of coming out of imprisonment?  We are all held captive to some degree, and each one of us has also freed ourselves from something.

From TWAS newsletter:

"Dakota", a very large male Grizzly Bear was the first one to step out of his transport cage... and after a couple of short steps getting used to the feel of real grass under his feet... he suddenly took off running!

It was truly amazing to see the highly over-emphasized loping action he was doing as he ran - which was clearly a result of having never run a single step in his life.  Even though his body instinctively knew to rock back and forth to allow his front and rear feet to work in harmony with each other... he had never had the chance to refine these skills.  With each forward and backward motion of his body, he over-compensated with extra height, which made his overall lope seem to be a cross between a beautifully galloping horse and an over-sprung jack rabbit!  

It was nothing short of oddly beautiful to watch!  He was actually covering a good amount of ground as he traveled along, and when you combine this measurable success with his brilliant enthusiasm, it was impossible to do anything but smile!  He was truly a free spirit at that moment, and a wonderful feeling enveloped everyone who was witnessing this tiny miracle.  

...Tall grasses streamed past him as he ran, and with each step we're sure he could feel the earth giving beneath the weight of his massive body.  Gone were unyielding concrete floors... and for the first time in his life, his powerful claws were able to grip the earth in the exact way his divine creator or evolutionary development had intended them to.

 ~~~

Do we dare walk out of the cage and run?  Maybe we lope wildly and awkwardly, but this is the life for which we were born: a life without limitation, free to explore and to "be".  

 

See Sacred Money, Part II here, and Sacred Money (the first part) here.

Sacred Money, Part II

At this point, I have seen Amy once since she put the folded bills into my back pocket.  It was then that I heard the story of how she came to have enough money to be able to tithe a few hundred dollars.

As I mentioned before, Amy doesn't have a lot of income. And she has a lot of expenses. She has taken in numerous stray animals of all types over the years.  She is an animal whisperer.

Recently, one of Amy's animals had become deathly ill - so sick that he had to be hospitalized.  The hospital bill alone was around $4,500.  The medication that was prescribed was another $500.  Mary put these expenses on her credit card.

I don't know how long after this that a woman gave Amy a check for $5,000.  This woman hasn't had much money in her life, either, but the generosity of a relative had recently brought her some unexpected income.  And because Amy has spent many hours with this woman's granddaughter, building her confidence and teaching her about caring for animals, this woman wanted to thank Mary with a big, fat check! 


I have not been one to trust the universe to supply all that I need, to trust Life - or whatever anyone would want to call it - enough to give away money that could pay my bills.  I listen to Amy's story, I watch her display an impeccable trust, and I have to say that something in me starts to wonder if everything doesn't all work out if we just let go of the need to control and then get out of the way of Life.

I was given this money as a tithe because Amy thought I was a source of spiritual food for her.  But who is getting fed here?  Amy is knocking down some old beliefs in me.  Beliefs about having enough.  I should be tithing to Amy!

Or maybe we are all big platters of spiritual food for each other.  Everything is already here; take what you need.  There is enough for all of us.


Next time, I will tell you about the first donation that I made out of this Sacred Money.

Sacred Money

This is an unfolding.  I do not know how this story will end.  If you would like to follow this journey, come back often to read the next installment.

As you read this and the other posts that will follow, I ask one thing of you:  I ask that you read these installments with no judgment, putting your opinions and expectations aside.  Just read it as a story that is unfolding in ways we don't know. Life is a mystery.  Let's let it be that.

~ ~ ~

The story began in late September, 2014.  A friend of mine told me that the next time she saw me, she would be giving me some money.  She subscribes to the belief that it is important to tithe - as a way of being a part of the flow of abundance.  For her, tithing means giving 10% to someone who she feels gives her spiritual food.  And for some reason I don't completely understand, she feels that I offer her spiritual food.  Very humbling...

When I next saw my friend (I'll call her Amy here), she started to give me some money.  Feeling somewhat uncomfortable with this whole thing, I turned my back to her and told her to please put the money in the back pocket of my jeans.  Amy doesn't make much money at all, living off of a little Social Security and a small amount of side income.  I figured she might be giving me $60 or $80 dollars.  I didn't take the money out of my pocket until long after Amy went home.

When I took out the wad of cash, I saw that it was a lot more than $60 or $80.  Nowhere close to a thousand, but much more than what I had ever expected.  Amy had recently had medical bills for one of her animals, and I knew that this money could have paid a chunk of that.  The beautiful trust that was displayed by the giving of this money from someone who needed it brought tears to my eyes.

For me, this money was holy money.  Sacred.  I didn't want to pay my bills with it.  I wanted to help others with it, in ways that were meaningful to me, and hopefully meaningful for the recipients.  I thought long and hard on this.

Come back in a few days to read about how my friend Amy came to have enough to tithe a nice amount to me.  It's amazing!

The Side Effects of Love

She crawled into bed & snuggled into the crook of his arm.

He said he felt her healing energy.

If she loved him enough, would that heal his cancer?  If she loved him enough could she have him forever?

Childish magical thinking.  But more peaceful than the fearful worrying that sneaks in unexpectedly.

And the label says the side effects of overmedicating on Loving are...

...a heart as big as the universe.

Yes, dear one, if you love enough, you can have Him forever.  You can have Him; you can have it all.  And so much more.

2014 Carol Barrow

Symphony

When you walk through the woods
and happen upon a creek noisily dancing
over ancient rocks worn smooth,

take a seat

and listen. 

Do you hear the perfectly blended
symphony?

So perfect that you can't determine
    which rock plays bass and
        which branch adds woodwinds.   

Now, cup your hands behind your ears.

Who knew this orchestra played so loudly?

With larger ears,
    the music of the little creek
        nears the edge of unbearable.

It is the only sound that can be heard

inside and outside of your body,

and your mind doesn't know where to focus
among the myriad
splashes,
    sploshes,
        blurbles,
            and gurgles
all happening
at once. 

Maybe,
while sitting there next to the creek,
you are reminded of the limitations
of your senses.
Maybe
you feel that familiar doubt,
wondering if you are even capable
of honestly knowing the sounds
of this Earth.  

Have you ever truly heard the voice of your lover?

Religious friends have told me
that we in these bodies
could not survive
beholding
the beauty
and majesty
of God

Maybe it is Life's kindness that
tempers our senses
so that we only perceive
enough to hint at
the Heaven that is
Here Now,
God's Magnum Opus.



2014 Carol Barrow

empty your house

                                                an accident.

things were going well, laughing,

noticing the sunshine yellow leaves,     

                                                then an accident.

like an innocent, pudgy toddler

laughing and running and 

uh-oh, pavement rises to head.

waaaaahhhh!                      

                                                an accident.

knocking the ground right 

out from under beliefs.

shock.  life wasn't supposed 

to go this way.

after all seems safe and calm,

the scene replays itself

                                                over 

                                                and 

                                                over.

Love says,

"Empty your house of all

that doesn't exist.  You and I

need this place all to

ourselves."

Allah

Allah

Allah

2014 Carol Barrow

Sialia currucoides

She sat on the ground outside my hermitage window, a mountain bluebird, dressed in grays and cobalt blue.  She was still, stunned, and deservedly so - the thud that drew me to the window, along with the cluster of tiny silver feathers plastered on the glass, were evidence that she at the very least had to be seeing stars.  Slowly she turned her head down and to the left - an awkward, un-birdlike movement.  I saw no right eye, just a sliver of a line where it used to be.  No wonder she crashed.  A one-eyed bird wouldn't have the proper depth perception.  Or maybe her eye was healthy until the crash.  I had visions of it now, shoved back into her skull.  Either way, can a one-eyed bird survive long in this wild world?

I know that a stunned bird can eventually come to - I once saw one fly away, hours after hitting a window.  I told this beautiful bird that I would stay with her as long as it took, but I would do it with glass between us so as not to increase her stress.  We sat in silence and stillness; I called in all that healed from earth and sky, and she... well, I don't know what she was doing, but she appeared to be drawn inward, never complaining to her friends as they came and went around her.

Eventually, she turned her head again, and I saw that her right eye was open.  It looked fine, but I had no way of knowing if it had sight.  About an hour after the gut-sinking thud that initially drew me to her, she took off, flying only a few feet into the nearest tree.  I whooped and hollered, as happy as I had been the day my daughter took her first steps. 

In the pine tree, she sat completely still, while her feathered friends flitted between branches.  I watched until she flew from the tree, and I lost sight of her.

Two years ago, I sat in this same hermitage watching mountain bluebirds, pine siskins, and sparrows drink and bathe in the water bowl outside the window.   Feeling stunned after the recent deaths of my dad and my beloved dog, Buddha, along with the cancer diagnosis of my husband, I spent hours each day watching the birds.  They stayed with me as I recovered from my crash into a wall of grief.  It felt good to now be able to offer a little in return.

2014 Carol Barrow