What I Would Write

Using the image of some things I found while an adolescent living in Kansas, I wanted to write about big, clear hearts and minds that are still.  But for the past few months, Creativity has forgotten where I live.  Everything I have tried to write, in the end, has looked like this:

Only not as pretty...

Finally, I decided to just not care, and I wrote about what I would like to write if I were able to figure out how to do it.  I am sure that many rich and famous writers have suggested this exercise for years, but I seem to need to get to the point of desperation before I give up and do whatever it takes to move pen, keyboard, camera shutter, or anything else.

I actually kinda sorta like what came from my non-essay.  And I love that I found the voice that comes before "the editor" starts its destruction!

I have now titled this piece:

 What I Would Like to Write If I Were Able to Figure out How to Do It

I want to write about the clear, Plexiglas heart I found when I was an adolescent.  I want to write about the headless, insides-less teddy bear I found later while walking around the lake with my cousin.  The teddy bear was small, maybe eight inches tall (but his head would have made him taller), and the heart could easily fit in the palm of my hand.

I kept both of those findings for a very long time.  I kept the heart inside the headless bear's body.  I don't know what ended up happening to the heart or the bear.  Was it like Puff the Magic Dragon?  I grew up and forgot about my bear like Jackie Paper did with Puff?

I want to write about not having a head, but having a clear heart so large that it fills the torso.  Maybe Douglas E. Harding can help me with the "having no head" part. 

No head - no opinions, no judgments, no anger, no inaccurate memory, no plans.  Only a big, clear heart with arms to hug, and legs to carry me from one place to another, from one hug to another.  One could swim like this, love, be loved, hike, stroke the head of a newborn baby.

Of course a bear or a person couldn't live without a head to house a brain to run the organs that keep one alive.  At least that's the way it seems from what I've read. I don't want to remove mine in order to find out if this is really true for me.  But I could pretend. 

Imagine a big, clear heart from collar bone to pelvis.  Imagine no worries, no judgments - just huge, big heart that loves all that comes. 

I want to figure out a colorful way to write about this.