Beloved

A short while ago, I realized that it wasn't long after waking each morning before I would remember the state of our country, then I would feel a heavy sense of dread. This dread — or something like it — is a common feeling for many of us these days. But it isn't useful to dwell there every moment (maybe not at all), and it doesn't help the larger situation when we are in a place that is quiet and safe but we continue to be on high alert.

So each morning I have begun having conversations with God (or whatever you want to call her — I sometimes use the name "Beloved"). I write these conversations down, and I am going to start posting them here. They may not be helpful for anyone but me. My only hope is that, if you find yourself feeling the heaviness, maybe you will discover a practice to help you to stay light and clear at this time when we so need light and clarity.

Here is my conversation from Day One:


Beloved, I wake early,
and look around. You 
are nowhere to be found. I 
pull the covers over my head. 
The world is too dangerous 
without you.
In here alone, beneath the warmth
of blankets, all is still.
What? Is that you, Beloved? 
Ahhh. 
I feel your breath
breathing me, 
your stillness is my joy.
Silly you for hiding
in the last place I'd ever look!


Carol Barrow,
Feb, 2017