Saturday, July 30, 2016

Hands




When I was young, I was fascinated by my grandma's hands. They were signs of Old, boney, with veins and arteries like green and purple worms crawling all over them. I never held one. I never held my grandma's hand. Oh, that hurts. Surely I did as a toddler while learning to walk. But I have no memory of ever touching her in any way. When I stood next to Grandma, asking if it was okay to have a cookie, I would study her hand as it rested on the wooden arm of the chair. I could have picked it up, petted it, told her that I loved her. I didn't do that. We didn't do that. 

Grandma's hands kept the pantry jar filled with cookies for us grandkids, probably a million of them baked over her lifetime. (I didn't like it when they had raisins.) Grandma's hands farmed the land, took care of sick people, raised seven boys, wired together anything that had fallen apart, and made mulberry pies, picking the berries from her trees and rolling out beautifully designed crusts.

My hands are becoming Grandma's. They have purple worms, and cracks— like the desert, parched for rain — create a random pattern. I could be embarrassed. I wonder if Grandma was.

My hands have given thousands of massages. They raised a girl and a boy. They garden and type. They've had a much easier life than grandma's hands. Still, that doesn't stop them from aging and reminding me of hers. And I realize that, now, now I can hold her hand.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Butterflies and Angels

A follow-up on Betty of the Butteflies from March, 2015...


Butterflies and Angels
July, 2016


The room is large, a sunny sitting room. Two high-backed, upholstered chairs flank a low, round table cluttered with framed family photos and a smattering of mail. A single bed nudges up against the far corner. That's where I find Betty. Three months from turning ninety-nine, and so small now, I wouldn't know she was under the blankets if it weren't for her sleeping face and white clouds of hair resting on stacked pillows.

Every time I visit her, she has melted just a little more.

"Hi Betty. It's Carol."
Eyes open just a bit.

"Hi Dear."
Eyes close.

"I love you, Betty."

"I love you, too, Carol."

I pull up a chair next to her and find myself holding her hand, watching her breathe.

I ask if I should leave so she can rest. She says No.

I have lots of time to be here. So quiet. Only the breathing, closed eyes, silken skin draped over bone, and I love you.

So what is it that I love? Memories of our times past? Maybe recollections of wise words and her gentle being, like a nurturing mother. It could be the way she has loved all things butterfly, and the gifts she brought me at birthdays and Christmas—mostly angels who now protect every corner of my massage room. Blue ceramic cherubs, angels made of feathers, Willow Tree angels of Peace and Healing.

Beside her bed, a wedding photo, taken about a year ago, has Betty in the center, the place of honor, between her grandson (the groom) and his bride dressed in white. Betty's son and daughters, grandchildren and great-grandchildren stand on either side. It seems so right, this placing of pure love, disguised as a white-haired woman named Betty, at the heart of one's new marriage.

I turn again to the small figure in the bed. A deepening inward stillness seems to be preparing her for the next flight.

For me, it's a time to begin to learn what Betty has lived—that love loves, and it doesn't need a reason.


Carol Barrow

July, 2016

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Life as a Dog


I try to learn from Dharma and Rumi. Neither of them takes things personally or cops an attitude toward the other when sat upon, stolen from, or made to go second for dinner or treats. I try to put this into practice when someone cuts in front of me in traffic and when Michael doesn't do what I used to think he should do. There are endless possibilities for exploring this practice of not taking things personally. Will I know that I have achieved a good level of it when I come back as a dog?




Sunday, May 29, 2016

What I Really Was (Am)


(with Gratitude to Elias, Various Nondual Teachers, and Wonderful Friends)


Dear Carol,
Today I read some of your journals,
your scribbled print, non-linear dates,
incomplete thoughts, moments of clarity and immense joy
and, often, disturbing searches for peace to fill the vacuum
you thought you were.

You thought you were.

You thought you were required
to be what you weren't
before you'd be worthy
to be.

You thought you were special and damaged and right and wrong and,
if you only did more
yoga poses,
meditation,
reading of wise books,
and saying of smart things,
you would no longer be what
you thought you were.

Dear Carol,
When I read some of your journals today,
your scribbled print, non-linear dates,
incomplete thoughts, moments of clarity and immense joy
and, often, disturbing searches for peace to fill the vacuum
you thought you were,

I knew the words were not
the clean white sheets
of paper,
and it was so very obvious
that old beliefs rehearsed quite often
never touched the clear beauty of

what you are.

Love,

Love

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

The Day the Sun Never Rose


Dear Dear Friends,

I'm typing on Michael's laptop in a small house we have rented for three nights. To get here, you drive through Moab's congestion of bikers, campers, and jeeps pulling ATV-loaded trailers, head south out of town, and don't fall off the road that hugs a cliff. Here, silence. Here I can forget that anyone exists except Michael and me. Oh, and the bird nesting outside the window. A western kingbird, I believe. Its light yellow belly and tendency to hover and dive lead me to believe this, though I am not a birder, and I could be wrong.

We got up early today. 3:45 a.m. All was utter darkness.Three hours of sleep due to snoring, heat, and windows whistling with wind. Our goal: to drive to Canyonlands to watch—and photograph—the sunrise on Mesa Arch.

By the time we reached the arch, a little after 5:00, the slightest hints of light illumined the clouds blanketing the sky, and we, along with about forty other hearty sun-worshippers, had high hopes that we would not only witness, but also capture on disk for all posterity, sunrise's iconic orange glow on Mesa Arch. People jockeyed for position. We waited. Sand blew in eyes, mouths, and expensive cameras. We shivered. We hoped the clouds would part. We waited more. And on this day, the sun never rose. Well, that's not quite true. I believe it did rise, but it never showed its face. The arch never oranged.

We walked back to the car in muted daylight, and that's when we saw in the landscape a rainbow of color, previously invisible during our dark walk to the arch. Purple lupine, white evening primrose, and some sweet, yellow flower, whose name I do not know, littered the desert sands. It was glorious. But too bad we hadn't seen the sunrise oranging up the Mesa Arch.





Now, post-nap, as I type this from the small house we have rented for three nights, my eye keeps catching Ms Kingbird flitting in and out of her nest.Through every window, beige rock formations can be seen guarding the land. All is silent, except the sounds of wind whistling through the window and Michael preparing dinner. We have no photos of the sunrise oranging up the Mesa; we have no goals. This day has been perfect.

Love

Carol

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

All Decked in New Greenery



It's Springtime,
and she's all decked in new greenery,
            designed by this cool, gray-skied
                        artist named April Showers  who arrived late,
in May.  She's never been one for calendars.

Thinking I wouldn't need them—
after all, it is May— I'd put away my sunshine glasses,
            good for warding off any darkness
                        that might come creeping in on a day like this,
                        so when you told us that guilt has nearly drowned him
            because he failed to stop her            
from drinking herself to death, I couldn't tell

whether it was rain or tears soaking
my cheeks. Oh, precious friends, we
cannot
            stop
                        this
                                    rain,
and surely we would if we could,
            being the sun-worshippers that we are.
                        Dry shelter is all we have to offer.  
                       
I wanted to hold you, to let your pain
            be diluted in both our tears. But you were across
                        the room, and this was not the time.
           
Maybe he thought that, too, the day
            she drank herself into springtime,
                        all decked in new greenery.


Carol Barrow
May, 2016